Lyrics

I have been thinking now for some time,
If I can sing or tell a rhyme,
Got a request from a friend last week,
To sing a song man isn't that neat,
She used to be my PTA,
And would feel me up every other day,
We'd talk a lot about life and shit,
But I haven't seen her in quite a bit,
She got a man and quit her job,
Then they went out and got a dog…

Let me tell you something that you might not know,
She hates dogs, she told me so,
She said they drool and smell and are disgusting,
But that all changed the day she got a ring…

They got their dog down at the SPCA,
And named him Kevin, what more can I say,
They love him dearly, he's a Corregidor,
So, we wrote this song, and I don't know what for,
I've never met him, and here's the thing,
They'd never have him if it weren't for that ring…

I must admit though that I'm kind of glad,
But they named him Kevin so I'm really mad,
They got the name from a movie for kids,
And I'll just stay out of it cause it's none of my biz,
Just so you know though girl it's not real cool,
To give a dog a name for humans, fool,
So, if you decide to get yourself a new pup,
Please choose a good name and don't fuck it up…

I've had a dog my whole damn life that's true,
Let me take some time and sing their names for you,

Jasper was the first dog that I ever had,
But he passed away when I was just a young lad,
So, we got a new pup and named him Zippy,
But some assholes came and stole that puppy from me,
So, we got a girl named Sassy Frassy Joe,
She was born outside when it was 40 below,
Then we got two dachshunds named Bouncer and Boomer,
Man, I love me some wiener please don't spread any rumors,
Now we got a girl we call Mocha Rain,
She can be quite the biotch if she don't know your name,
And she's got two brothers named Yeager and Kenai,
Now you know their names so maybe you can see why…

I'm not too impressed with a dog named Kevin,
That shit is as crazy as my ex-girl Devyn,
But I'll just stay out of it cause it's none of my biz,
Plus, I drank a lot so I gotta go take a wiz,
Just so you know though girl it's not real cool,
To give a dog a name for humans, fool,
So, if you decide to get yourself a new pup,
Please choose a good name and don't fuck it up…

And if you get a pup and don't know what name to choose,
Here's a list of some names that might work for you:

Whiskey,
Roscoe,
Scruffy,
Mabey Hennessey,
Bailey,
Cocoa,
Bandit,
or McKenzie,

The last 2 names are the best I'm about to wrap up this song,
If I get myself a new pup, I'll name him Cheech or Chong!